Bank of America, how I loathe you, let me count the ways.
Todays latest installment of Bank of America stupidity comes from an "analyst" (gotta love those titles) doing a regular review. Hmmm. Ok. Said analyst calls from an unknown number asking me creepy questions about my business account. After asking him who the hell he was and verifying it was in fact BofA, I asked "am I late?", no. Thank you for your last payment. I ask "have I EVER been late?" No. Then "WTF in holy hell are you calling me about?" Oh, we are just making sure you were doing ok and didn't need any "assistance". Oh, you mean the kind where if I say yes you cut off my card and ask for a full balance due immediately? Yeah, no thanks.
So I in turn ask them to lower my rate based on my outstanding payment and credit history. I get transferred to yet another "analyst" who then tells me that I haven't paid off the balance fast enough for their liking. Now wait a minute here. You make money the longer I keep the balance going right? Yes. Now you want me to pay it off faster? Yes. Hmmm. Ok genius. If you lower the interest, and it cuts my payment in half, yet I continue to pay you the same amount, you get your money faster. Make sense there Ms. Smarty Pants "analyst?" Yes, but you have to pay down more before we can lower your rate. Hmmm. I see. Makes perfect sense. Did I mention I have banked here over 20 years with a flawless history? Have you seen the balances in my account? Yes, they are outstanding. Hmmm. ok.
I'll be promptly paying off that balance today and finally closing my account with you bastards. Now go "F" Off. Thank you. I HATE BANK OF AMERICA. Apparently so do many other people...
